love was all we had worth giving
by saradelovely
Summary: He imagined it as a gradual process, a slow awakening to feelings he's never had. But it's Berry, it's Berry he's thinking of, and things with her have never been gradual.


Author's Note: Since my multi-chapter stories deserve more effort than what I've been giving them, I've been sticking to writing one shots at the present time. Less work during finals week, lol. If there's something particular you are interested in, let me know. I'm always interested in new inspiration. I love reviews, like everybody else here. The song is 'What's Simple is True' by Jewel.

_turn to me with frozen lips_

This is the first day that Puck knows he loves her, a realization that comes to bring him to his knees. This isn't how he imagined it. He imagined it as a gradual process, a slow awakening to feelings he's never had. But it's Berry, it's Berry he's thinking of, and things with her have never been gradual. She runs into things at a million miles per minute, her legs lasting for miles. He's fixing his tie for Sectionals, glancing at her from the corner of his eye, her presence looming larger than life behind him in the mirror. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't want to distract her further.

He's preoccupied with his tie, and the smell of her drafting around the room, and she bounds over, shaking from nerves. She never shakes from the nerves but she is now, and he grabs her hand, pulling her in to settle her heartbeat. She grabs his hands, latching hers with his, steadying herself for what is to come. There's minutes to show time and she's anxious, and he's anxious for her, so he does what he thinks is best.

Leaning back slightly, he takes her face in his hands, pressing his nose to hers. He's intent on wishing her good luck, giving her a speech on why she's wonderful, why she will _always _be wonderful, but he says a trio of words that hover over them like a rainbow. He wants to jump and steal them back, stick them into his pocket for a different day, a more appropriate time.

"I love you." Instantly, he feels regret flowing through the base line of his spine. His intention was to calm her fraying nerves, not heighten her tension. Nobody around them hears, not that it would matter if they did. It matters little to everyone that they're together, indifference to everyone but Finn and Quinn. Surprise swarms her eyes, and he believes she doesn't feel the same way, until she stands on his shoes to steal a kiss. He's kissed her a million times, a million ways, and she still feels brand new. Her shoes leave scruff marks, and her heel presses into his toes, but when she says it back, she says it back and it becomes worth it.

"I love you, too." With that, she goes on the stage she was born for, she brings down the house, and they win. Later that night, when she's curled asleep into the crook of his shoulder, his thoughts travel back to how far they've come.

There was a time, a brief time, a span of a week, where the two of them where in a romantic relationship and it wasn't special, and it wasn't amazing. It was a typical high school relationship, really, the ones that aren't meant to last. It's not as if he had planned this, or even thought ahead. It was a relationship born out of necessity when they both liked other people. Forced to settle, they settled momentarily.

She broke up with him on Tuesday, despite not having a Berry back-up plan. She always has a Berry back-up plan. Her words travel in and out of his ears. She says, she says she wants everything too much. He interprets this as she wants Finn, she wants his best friend too much. She murmurs its for the best, anyway. She's seen the way he observes Quinn, tracking her every movement. This bothers him, he wants to explain why he follows Quinn but he doesn't. He doesn't say a word, determined to not let her words sting.

He doesn't know why but he wants his last kiss good-bye. He also wants her to stay, but he only says one of these things.

She kisses him a good-bye, savoring the moment in the brisk fall air. He pulls back, and he searches her eyes, searches for a change in her previous words, but nothing comes. She lets him go and clenches her fingers together. Early Autumn in Ohio isn't as cold as expected, the iciness spreading through her hands can't be attributed to the weather.

_your hands are icy cold_

He's walking away, ignoring the hurt that is spreading through his body. He's a stud, a _stud_, and he can't even hold onto Crazy. He doesn't turn around to see her following his trek across the field, the bright tears that spring underneath her eyelids when he's gone.

_your eyes burn bright against the frost bit sky_

_you never seemed more lovely than you do tonight._

Weeks pass, and they ignore each other, avoiding the awkwardness and the elephant in the room. People have started to notice but they ignore it, there's nothing going on, you're imaging things. Kurt and Mercedes give each other sideways looks, and wonder why nothing feels like so many somethings.

But then things happen and Kurt and Mercedes care less about Rachel and Puck, and more about Finn and Quinn, _and_ Puck.

Finn takes it exactly as one would expect, considering the circumstances. Best friend slept with girlfriend. Pregnancy ensues. Some secrets aren't meant to be kept. Some chairs get knocked over, punches to the face, yelling and screaming. There are no surprises, Finn plays it by the script. The day she finds out Quinn's baby is really his, he expects her to follow Finn out the door. She could be with Finn, like she's wanted, like she's wanted him too much all along.

She does leave that room but not for the reasons he expects. She leaves the room, tracing Puck's footsteps, intent on patching the wounds she's helped contribute to. She finds him on the bleachers, sitting down next to him like so many weeks before. There are words that want to leave her lips, words that have everything to do with the situation and nothing to do with her personal attachment to him.

_pale on the horizon_

_like leaves frozen in the snow_

"I miss you." The words come out softly, flying softly on the blowing wind.

"Yeah, whatever. You didn't even let me touch your boobs."

She lets out a giggle, and he feels a rush of fresh air. This isn't how it's supposed to be. _She_ left him.

"You're not getting a second chance, Berry." She sobers up when she hears these words, expecting them but feeling the faint tug of sadness at the bottom of her heart, anyway. She nods, standing and smoothing out her skirt.

"I'll be seeing you." There is no speech, no prolonged lecture that he expects but doesn't receive.

She takes a step downwards to join him on his step, and he doesn't understand his reaction, but he grabs her and pulls her down on him.

He blinks, and she blinks, and they're both blinking, the only muscle in their body working.

"Stay with me." This isn't what he meant to say, either, but he needs her to keep him alive, keep his pain at bay.

She lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding, and his words bring her back to the surface.

She nods. They stay like that for a while, surrounded by the beating of their hearts, the comfortable silence weaving a cocoon.

Eventually, she stands, sticking out her hand to pull him up.

He grabs it, smirking. "You're a lightweight, Berry."

She doesn't say anything, just laces her fingers with his.

"Maybe. Maybe, but I'm also strong enough to shoulder this with you."

His heart skips a beat and parts of him are found to be lacking oxygen. "You'd do that? I haven't been the best person to you, in case you forgot." He's still in awe she cares.

"I haven't forgotten but I've forgiven. And I'd do that, I'd piece you together if you want to fall apart."

He nods, grabbing her hand. He slings an arm around her shoulder, her tiny hand taking hold. They walk off the field together, and he moves a kiss onto the base of her head.

_our two shadows merge inseparably_

_will time stand still if it's pierced with cold?_

He feels her breaths change, realizing she's waking up and distracting him from his path back in time, and he greets her sleepy eyes with a kiss. Tucking back a strand, her waits for her to speak. She is always, always, talking except in the moments they're together like this. Moments they're nestled together, when words are unnecessary and each touch becomes more than enough. She doesn't say anything about earlier, she doesn't have to.

_there's a warmth in my heart_

_it haunts me when you're gone_

He'll whisper it in the corners of the dark, loud enough for her to hear, soft enough for it to absorb into the deepness of her skin. Every movement, every whispered word takes on a new life in her blood stream, sinking past her veins.

_mend me to your side and never let go_

_i wanna hold time, say it'll never begin_

His words curve around the edges of her heart, nestling in to find a safety net, find his home like he's done so many nights before.

They fall into the curve of her neck, the hollow of her collar bone he kisses. Each kiss takes on every word he can't say out loud. He'd give her this, he'd give her these words that matter, that he's only ever going to feel for her.

His hands still the beating of her rib cage, his thumb leaving on imprint on her breast, but more, around her heart.

Her hands flutter to his face, her smile matching his own, the smile he never tires of seeing.

_the more i know_

_what's simple is true_

_i love you, i love you_


End file.
